The Adventures of the Prince & His Amazing Troupe
by Elfin Empress
Summary: An attempt at humour. Will the Vizier succeed in his new plan to take over Azad? Or will the Prince and his crew outsmart him? Beware the Empress of Time's evil minions! Based primarily on PoP:SoT.


Disclaimer for the characters, objects, and places pertaining to _The Prince of Persia_:

"We owns not," says the Elf

"But we wants it, _MY_ precious!" says the Freak

* * *

Seraph, 09:30

(Camera pans across a great desert span. It comes up to the city of Seraph and then the palace. Then we see the Prince pop-up right in front of the camera.)

Prince: (grinning) Hello! My name is...er...well, actually, (scratches head) I don't know my name…

King Shah Raman: (whispering, off camera) That's because you don't have one!

Prince: Oh! Right-o! Well, you can just call me Prince then! Hee hee! My favourite hobbies are: killing sand beasts and stabbing sand creatures (camera shows him finishing off a sand beast), killing myself and then rewinding time, falling 2000 feet and then rewinding time, getting impaled by spikes and then rewinding time -- Yup! That's right! I'm a thrill-seeker AND a survivor! Woo-hoo! My other hobbies are retrieving sand and spilling sand (camera shows him stooping down on the desert floor to cup some sand in his hands and then letting it spill), and I enjoy stripping for no reason at all...and oh! I also like to hang on ledges for hours at a time! (grins) And well, I'm not going to brag about running on walls...Shucks! (blushes and puts his hands in his pockets while kicking some sand absentmindedly) In addition, I like to steal shiny things that don't belong to me-

Farah: (off camera) You mean the Dagger?

Prince: (continues, unfazed) And I just love rescuing damsels in distress! (chuckles)

(Camera zooms to Farah.)

Farah: Hi there! My name is Farah and I'm the daughter of an Indian Maharajah. My favourite hobbies are being kidnapped by Persian soldiers, shooting arrows at my boyfriend, and taking baths -- if you know what I mean! (giggles) Right now, I'm at Seraph, visiting my boyfriend -- or should I say, "target practice"? Tee-hee!

(Camera zooms to Sultan of Azad.)

Sultan: Ah-hem.

(Camera zooms to his herald.)

Herald: Presenting the stupendous, marvellous, wonderful, magnificent, glorious, amazing, brilliant, superb, splendid, spectacular, fabulous, fantastic, awe-inspiring, outstanding, exalted (pants for breath) Sultan of Azad!!!!

(Camera zooms back to the Sultan.)

Sultan: (ruby-faced and sparkle-eyed) Ah! Yes, that's ME!!! (smiles) Well, welcome to my humble vacationing abode at Seraph! (points at a 200 room grand manor in the background with 20 swimming pools lined in gold and jewels) I'm just (hic) here visiting my pal (hic) King Shah Raman. (Camera pans out so we see the Sultan leaning on Shah Raman for support as he sways back and forth with some mead in one hand.) Hee-haw!

(Camera switches over to Shah Raman.)

Shah Raman: (looks uneasy) Um, yes. Well, I'm (stands up tall and puffs torso out) the Prince's father. You can blame me for not naming him. Yeah, but that's all right! He turned out to be a fine lad!

(Camera quickly cuts to the Prince again.)

Prince: Oh look! Pretty sand! (runs off to retrieve some sand from the desert ground)

Shah Raman: (smiling, proudly) That's my boy!!! (clears throat) My hobbies are looting kingdoms that don't belong to me-

Farah: So that's where he gets it from!!!

Shah Raman: (continues, unfazed) Also, I enjoy being indulgent towards my boys--

Prince: (off camera) Ho-yeah!

Shah Raman: Let's see...My other hobbies include...Hmmm...what are my hobbies?

(As Shah Raman ponders on his hobbies, the camera zooms to a conspicuous dried up bush and goes through it to reveal the Vizier hiding behind it.)

Vizier: (whispers) Heh heh, now's my chance. (begins to tip-toe out in front of the bush and waves his staff once) Open Sesame!

(The Prince and his crew turn toward the Vizier, staring blankly; the herald runs away.)

Vizier: Oops! Wrong incantation! (waves staff once more) Abracadabra!

(Instantly, the Sultan and Shah Raman get locked up in a cage together, while Farah gets 30 fluffy pillows to lay on while 10 handsome slave men work on massaging her back and limbs, feeding her delicious ripe fruit, and fanning her with opulent ostrich feathers.)

Vizier: (to the Sultan and King) Fork over the kingdom or die!!!

Prince: Not until I spoon you a new eye! (jumps right out in front of the Vizier)

Vizier: No! Not you again! (begins to wave his staff again)

Prince: Oh no, not the magic wand again!

Vizier: Staff! It's a staff! You know, like Gandalf? And Merlin? All great sorcerers have staffs!

Sultan: (swaying back and forth) Ha ha (hic) ha! Just forget it Jaffar, you can't beat my friend's (hic) boy!

Vizier: Jaffar? I'm Indian! My name is not Jaffar!

Prince: You sure look like him!

Vizier: Yeah, all right ALADDIN!

(A great battle ensues between the Prince and the Vizier.)

Farah: (eats a grape from the hand of one of the slave men) Go get him! Yeah! That will teach that blue-clad jerk!

Prince: (pauses the battle) Er, do you mean him or me?

Farah: Um...him?

Prince: Right-o! (continues to battle)

(Meanwhile in the royals' cage, the Sultan seems to have passed out, snoring freely.)

Shah Raman: (looks bored and scans the cage) Hmmm! (picks up the bottle of mead his friend the Sultan dropped and looks at it amusingly, shrugs, and begins to gulp it down)

Prince: (to the Vizier, dramatically) You shall never have this kingdom!

Vizier: (also dramatically) We shall see!

Shah Raman: (holding mead in one hand) You get him…er...(scratches his head) now, what's his (hic) name again?

(At same time)

Prince: I don't have one!

Vizier: He doesn't have one!

Shah Raman: Oh, right! (gurgles) You get him, my (hic) boy! (starts swaying)

(Camera pans to the side, a good distance away from the fight.)

Shadee: You think we should reveal ourselves yet?

Dahaka: Nah, let them finish each other off first.

(End Scene)


End file.
